Jim Caviezel *~*~*~* my man

i first saw this hottie in the movie The Count of Monte Cristo. and at that moment i knew he was the one... he was the epitome of my *dream husband* yay! his performance in that movie is truly inspiring. i fell in love with Edmond Dantes. until now, i still burn for him. hehehe you just gotta love this man. his *beauty is enigmatic [this is my blog, i can say whatever i want to say here!]. his smile is so immaculate. and his gaze... it melts my heart. his eyes, i could drown in them. [inarte_ang_bruha]

but on the real thing, man, he has talent. and there's no denying that fact. oh, he's much blessed! good looks and superb talent! what more can a mere human being ask for?!?!?!

i am looking forward to seeing The Passion of The Christ. it's just that, no one's available to see it with me. anyway, i can always wait until the DVD is released. i'd prefer to see it on DVD rather than at the cinema where there'd me much disturbance for concentration. and there's also Highway Men to watch out for.

The Lord of The Rings: TFOTR; TTT: Special Extended DVD

it's quite funny. it's been two months since i have laid my hands on these stuffs. and it was only today that i, at last, uncovered their Easter Eggs.

on TFOTR, i found the hidden *preciousss on the first disc. and it was hilarious!!! totally! Mr. Peter Jackson said MTV created it. damn! i didn't see in on MTV! how could i've missed it! anyway, it was quite surprising to see jack black's *arse on screen! exhilirating! imagine having *the one ring* to be inserted into his *lil hobbit and then having the council to decide what to do with it... the hidden video was an alternative to what really happened at *the council of Elrond. i already spilled much of the beans...

on TTT, it's also on the first disc. i've seen this one on MTV! yes, my preciousss. i've seen it. it's MTV-ASIA movie awards last year. it was created by the Digital FX team of Mr. Peter Jackson. they knew beforehand that Mr. Andy Serkis was going to receive an award for his performance as Gollum. really an ice-breaker!

anyway, both dvd sets are worthy of my dollars... really worthy...

BEEZEE

way sleezy!!!

i don't really feel like blogging.

i feel like i'm missing someone. he may never know i'm missing him but he may be able to read this.

ahhh... this is hopeless...

SSDD

it's SSDD...

but it's good that i'm a little better now. thanks to BRANDY!!! hehehehe

man!!! you gotta love BRANDY!!!

what? you don't know BRANDY???

anyway, Brandy is... who? Brandy???

i don't know either...

am becoming such a dorkass here...

anyway... hello to my friend... what was the name again???

SSDD

yeah, man! it's the Same Shit, Different Day... yet again...

i'm worse right now.

but i can still manage.

i even had a shot of brandy that's supposed to help me sleep earlier. i just didn't know it'd have a different effect on me. instead of lulling me to my much-wanted slumber, i am quite stimulated to stay up for another couple of hours, thus giving me the chance to blog about it. hehehe

one of these days, i'll be changing the skin of my blog. it's become an eyesore to me already. i guess it's because i see the same colors everyday. i've grown to dislike it. i just hope i'll be over and done with the new template i'm modifying; again it's by may*star. and may*star is may, but she's not me. she's a lady from across the globe. i don't personally know her, but she's quite popular in the net. that i can bet on!!!

hehehe

i'll see if i can come back later and blog again.

SSDD

666F726576657220627920796F757220736964652E00


this is in hex... try it...

SSDD

you know the feeling of monotony???
i guess this is it...

i'm sick to the bones and i'm depressed. totally.

this is one hell of a fuckarow!!!

SSDD, by the way, means Same Shit, Different Day...

this is funny yet very comgeeky...

check this out:
010011010111100100100000011011010110111101110100
011010000110010101110010001000000110100101110011
001000000110000100100000011001100110100101110011
0110100000101110

if you wanna know what this means, go to:
nickciske

i hate it!!!

damn! i ain't feeling well right now. i think i'm having a flu. can't breathe easily. and i have a bad bout of cough.
don't really feel like blogging but i figure that i have to. anyway, i just want to get well again and soon...

lost... found... and lost again?

i thought i'd never find him again. i never really thought much about it until i found him now. it's been too long since we last saw each other. it's been too long since we last said goodbye. it's been too long since i heard his voice over the phone. it's been too long...

it's been too long...

and now, i'm afraid that it's too late. too late for everything.

i know i may be a year older than him, but he probably looks older than me. but damn! i cannot figure out what's going on in my brain... all the memories keep rushing in at full speed, without warning.

upon learning of his status, i reallly felt like sinking deep. sinking to a bottomless pit. sinking deeper and deeper by the moment... and now, all i could do is think about those times when he was at my reach and still could not touch him...

oh! the unfathomable mysteries of life...

DAMN IT ALL!!!

the first time i saw his picture, the feeling was overwhelming. it was so life-like. it was as if he weren't really dead. but the face of the man in the photograph exudes a feeling of melancholy, hopelessness and loss. and i could neither bear to look at it in close range nor stare at it for a minute. it made me feel exactly how it looked. and it made me wanna cry. but i couldn't bear to cry! no! not with too many people around me. not with those prying eyes... no! never!

then i saw something that had once belonged to him. that thing was from me. a coffee mug. on the mug was the message: "IDOL KO SI DADDY". how ironic. i used to feel like, yeah, i admire this man... he's perfect... i loved him. and i still do. damn! i still do!

and now that he's six feet below the ground, may he rest in peace. for peace, as of now, is far from my grasp. i cannot rest my mind nor my heart. no. not yet. until everything is settled.

acceptance. letting go. damned difficult business! up until now, i still could not believe he is dead. that everything i thought of as true and valid are in fact-- lies. that behind the perfect image is a rotting corpse. that the rotting corpse was my father. that my father was a big, fat liar!!!

no, i am not crying right now. that's way out of my league now. i won't cry for him anymore. no. not a single tear. but damn it! he's in my thoughts everytime my mind slips from reality. everytime, like now. and damn! i don't like it!!!

soon... it will be over. soon it will be over and done with...

to those people going against me... think again. for you do not know the real me. no. not at all. so watch your steps. and take extra precaution along the way.

travails and travels...

hehehe
at dawn, i'd be on the road to pangasinan together with my mother and her friend.
it would be the 40th day of my father's death.
duh...